LIFE
By Rob Hall
I will never forget April 09 2009 – it was the day that I departedCape TownforMozambiqueto begin an indefinite stay at a rehab named Healing Wings. I had only been able to gather information about Healing Wings from the internet so had little understanding of exactly where I was going, what I did understand though was that there were no more chances left for me in life – I was 39, had been a drug addict for 20 years and was HIV positive. To be honest, I think I believed that I was going to Healing Wings to reconcile myself to death. I remember sitting in the Church on the Moz Farm with Ruth and the other new hopefuls and answering the question ‘why are you here’ with “I need it to be ok that I die…” Ruth had just smiled at that, she was all to aware of the infinite possibilities that faith in God offers and I think she also understood my need to be reconciled to any eventuality. I will never forget Ruth, her unswerving commitment to her calling, her smile and her ability to encourage with nothing more than a look…there has certainly been occasion since I left Healing Wings for me to pause and think ‘what would Ruth do?’
There were so many others that were able to touch my life at Healing Wings and to whom I am so grateful, Alan for his warmth and love and impossibly comforting hugs when I felt I could no longer go on…Alex, who intimated me horribly when I first arrived, for his genuine friendship and daily display of truly walking the path he preached. Jeannine for her ability at remarkable softness and Giles for that sardonically raised eyebrow that made me think and re-evaluate without him having to say anything at all… so many people that blessed me with the possibility of a future, of a life and with an ever deepening love and dependence on God, and so it was that 9 months later, on the 5th January 2010 I left Healing Wings, not to die but to discover the utter joy of life.
I have been fortunate in that much that I lost through my addiction has been restored to me, my health, my home, my family my career…the list is endless but all attributable to the lessons I learnt at Healing Wings and to a God so powerful that his promise of life and love is undeniable. I have achieved personal and professional milestones that I had never believed possible and still marvel over when I have my quiet times with God and thank Him for his continued blessing. Neither I nor my life is perfect, but it is in the imperfections that I continue to grow and to develop and through my newfound ability to experience life that I am able to reach out and help others when I am asked. I will shortly celebrate three years of sobriety, an amazing milestone when I consider that for the 20 years prior to Healing Wings the longest time of sobriety I managed was 3 months! I still have days where I struggle but have learnt to recognize that all my strength has been forged in fire and that there will always be days that are better. I have learnt to talk to God constantly, I have learnt to quietly lower my head and ask for His help and I have learnt to listen for His response. Through His forgiveness I have learnt to love myself and to finally be at peace. People remark constantly at the change they see in me, even now,
Two years after I left Healing Wings, and I am enormously encouraged at the fact that those around me are able to recognize the miracle in my life. I have been offered many platforms to stand up and reach out to others who are lost and confused and scared and my message of hope is freely available to those that need it. As a spokesperson for Lifeline I have been able to address large groups where my testimony is able to reach so many and for that I am truly grateful.
I often wonder how I could ever thank Healing Wings and the leaders for all they have given me, for introducing me to a life in Christ, for putting me back into the world, whole, so that I can experience the joys of life…words seem so utterly inadequate to express how I feel. So instead I offer my promise, of a life well spent, well lived…of an adherence to so many principles Healing Wings introduced me to…to a continued conversation with God and an unwavering commitment to the belief that whilst every day may not be perfect, every day is worth living!
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